Reach Well

Celebrating Spring

2008-05-16T02:57:00.000-07:00

BEYOND THE COMORT ZONE

Rewards await
those willing to
reach
beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within, and
over and over again and again.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

LEARNING TO REACH

BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:

A WELLNESS PROGRAM

Answers to life’s puzzles and problems are as certain as the gold buried deep within the earth. Yet, just as golden nuggets seldom fall into our laps, finding solutions to life’s perplexing questions and problems requires work - digging, searching, reaching. With the “pain” of effort, however, comes “gain”. Like the miner who, with practice, learns more and more how to spot and mine for treasures, people too can learn to better tap the treasures within themselves and in the outside world which hold the answers to their search for greater personal peace and power. _____________________________________________________

Achieve greater peace and power by learning to celebrate the seasons.

The seasons are what a symphony ought to be:
Four perfect movements in harmony with each other.
Arthur Rubenstein

CELEBRATING SPRING

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

And Spring arose on the garden fair,
like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere:
and each flower and herb on Earth’s dark breast
rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.
Percy Sysshe Shelley, The Sensitive Plant

Spring!! It is my favorite time of the year. I love this time of new light and new life when people and nature alike toss off their dark, cold and heavy attire, stretch their limbs widely, dress in brighter colors, and begin to dance in the gentle rays of the sun.

April prepares her green traffic light and the world thinks Go.
Christopher Morley, John Mistletoe

Here in Berlin, it feels like the entire city is slowly preparing for a celebration. Fresh greenery is appearing on all the trees and bushes, and the humming and chirping of busy birds makes beautiful music to awaken to. Splashes of red and yellow and violet suddenly appear in the most drab of places, and fruit trees are covered in soft, delicate pink and white lace. Daffodils stand at attention in the middle of thoroughfares and pink and purple pansies wave from balconies at tulips gracing gardens with their colorful displays. Last Sunday was the most sunny and warmest day thus far, and it seemed as if the entire city was on the move:

Berlin in Spring

The sun is again high in the sky.

Berliners become busy as they bid winter good-bye.

Ladies with their blouses bright,

Gents in trousers, loose or tight,

Babies bouncing in their beds on wheels,

Lads and lasses can no longer sit still.

It’s out to the waterways,

to the forest so fair.

Spring has arrived.

Celebration fills the air.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Easter ushered in celebration early this year. In Rome, thousands gathered in St. Peter’s Square to receive the Pope’s blessing, while in Mexico, the masses assembled to watch the playful action of the sun on stone which has delighted generations since Mayan times. In Berlin, as in many other places in the world, bright and beautiful baskets and decorations tempted shoppers to buy more than planned, and lovely and delicious chocolates tempted the palate more than desired. Cold winds and rain did not deter the walks through the city centers and the many parks and the Easter egg hunts. Although the sun was slow in making its appearance, hyacinths, daffodils and tulips promptly made their stately entrances. Restaurant owners started to put tables and chairs outside, and on every street corner, flower vendors proudly displayed their abundant and colorful Spring treasures, artfully arranged and hard to resist.

In the spring I have counted one hundred and thirty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours. Mark Twain

The celebration of Spring in Berlin reaches its high point on May Day. Demonstrations of workers and other organizations dominate the city center and keep the police force quite nervous and busy, and lively and colorful festivals can be found in all parts of the city. With dance, choirs, bands, boating, tours to tree-blooming and tulip festivals, and carnivals and fairs of various sorts, the city vibrates in celebration of Spring.

I stretch and smile and amaze, yet again, at Spring in Berlin, and I remember my mother back home in Kentucky, who remembers her mother in special ways in Spring. While I notice casually that the sun now discloses spots and blotches which were hidden by winter shadows, my mother starts to think of Spring cleaning. She remembers her mother pulling furniture away from walls and carrying mattresses outside to the sun, and begins to ponder who she might find to help her this year. She knows that although there are many names she could call, those who respond will be few. Yet, before she utters a single request, her “handy helper” son appears with cheerful assistance – a motley crew of artists in transition always happy for a new task. They find my mother in her garden, weak and weary from the bending and weeding which she has promised to give up, but excited and exhilarated by the earthy, fresh smells and the feel of Spring.

I love spring anywhere, but if I could choose I would always greet it in a garden.
Ruth Stout

While unlike my mother, my thoughts stray far from cleaning, like her, I am drawn outside to soak in the sun and to touch Mother Earth. I love raking, digging in the dirt, planting and especially searching for new growth. Some plants I recognize immediately, most I guess at in sweet anticipation.

Yesterday the twig was brown and bare:

To-day the glint of green is there;

Tomorrow will be leaflets spare;

I know no thing so wondrous fair,

No miracle so strangely rare.

I wonder what will next be there!

L.H. Bailey

Each new day brings new gifts from Mother Nature and I am enjoying the fact that the celebrations of new light and new life will continue for yet a while in simple and quiet awakenings and in major, magical moments. Today’s gift here was the absolutely spectacular awakening of lilacs and many more rhododendrons and flowering trees which many of us could enjoy more because we were forced to walk due to the bus strike. Whether from choice or necessity, I hope you are taking some time to celebrate Spring and to receive some of the bounty just waiting for your awakening.

Reach for Words of Wisdom

Oh Glorious Spring

Open your windows,

open your heart,

let the celebration start.

Skip and twirl,

dance and sing

to the rhymes and rhythms

of glorious Spring.
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Alive with Spring

A bush alive with tiny green bud,

a tree adorned with emerald studs,

grass painted fresh

and growing strong with bounce and swing,

the world again alive with Spring.

Trees are brushed beautiful

With delicate bloom.

Soft pinks and rich creams

wash away none too soon

the wintry gloom.

Daffodils dance

as forsythia twirl.

hyacinth hop

while tulips pop

up in the most unsuspecting places.

And, our faces

break out in smile,

for a while.

Robins whistle.

Woodpeckers tap.

sparrows chirp.

All so merry,

so alive, so alert.

And, tiny fledglings on mother’s wing.

Oh, how lovely their melodies ring.

The world again alive with Spring.

The chill in the air wants to linger a while,

but warm winds and rains bring a promise.

The days of frost are no longer in style.

Gentle rays, even radiant days

are just a wish or two away.

New light,

New life.

At every turn such beautiful sights.

New love I feel.

My heart doth sing.

The world again alive with Spring.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

A Reach Challenge

Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to celebrate the seasons. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at your moods and movements this Spring show? What can you learn from the choices and actions you are, or are not, making? What challenges face you?

Spring: spring cleaning – spring fever – new life – new light – new color – new movement – new freedom – new love. What thoughts and feelings and memories does Spring awaken in you? Are you called, like my mother, to activity? Or perhaps you are more like the many Berliners who are drawn to leisurely strolls to admire nature’s abundant and beautiful gifts, and to leaning back in the sun to enjoy a good meal and a cold brew. What corners of yours need a thorough cleaning before the full power of the sun chases away all shadowy coverings? What new lights and loves are beckoning you? What old plans and plants need an injection of new life? What seeds of hope are you planting? Has your celebration in the sun begun?

If you’ve never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom.
Audra Foveo

The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.
Bern Williams

Reach to Believe:

Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!

Belleruth NaprastekAudiotape:

Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus

Time Warner Audiobooks

Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Quotations from The Quote Garden (www.quotegarden.com). Terri Guillemets. Phoenix, Arizona, USA, with contributions from Michael Garofalo author of “The Spirit of Gardening”.

Copyright © 2008 Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved. Please do not copy without permission of the author.

What is your Spirit Song?

2008-03-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

BEYOND THE COMORT ZONE

Rewards await
those willing to
reach

beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within,
and over and over again and again.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Wellness Coach

LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM

_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________

Achieve greater peace and power by defining what real happiness is for you.

WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT SONG?
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Happiness is defined only by you.
I will appreciate the material possessions
that I accumulate, but will always know
that they are not the reason for my happiness.
Williams and Thomas (2005)

How do you define happiness? What makes your spirit soar with song?

A lot of people are talking about happiness lately. Happiness has become the modernday proverbial “apple-a-day” - a dose of happiness each day keeps the doctor away. More and more people are telling us that we need it, what it should look like and how to find it. We are told, for example, that regular doses of joy and laughter can increase the chemicals in our brains responsible for pleasure and can reduce stress. Furthermore, we are reminded that we look better, feel better and, yes, act better when we are happy. If you are like many of the people I work with, however, you will realize that this question is not as simple as it appears on the surface.

Take Nate, for example; he was caught off guard by my question. “I don’t know,” he sighed, adding, “I don’t know what really makes me happy.” We had been talking about a topic which flowed more easily, and had become his almost constant companion recently, it seemed – depression. Yet, according to Buckingham (2007), Nate did know; he just didn’t know that he knew, and he didn’t know how to pay attention to the ever present clues. Buckingham noted that all day, every day we do tasks, have experiences and encounter people, things and situations which engender our positive or negative emotions. They make us smile or frown, they drain our energy or energize us, and they move us to laughter or to tears. Within these often simple experiences, are the clues to what makes us happy. Buckingham, like other writers would appeal to Nate to become more aware of his definition of happiness as one component of establishing a satisfying and fulfilled life.

Yet, while Nate may have been stuck on the gloomy side of life, he was smart to pause before attempting to answer the question. As many of the sages through the ages have realized, there are many hidden potholes in the road to happiness.

Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed
by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to
children and by children to adults. Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin

There are several issues worth considering in attempts to define happiness. One important issue has to do with the distinction between “feeling happy” and “being happy”. Similar to the difference often noted between infatuation and love, the one refers to that which is more momentary, fleeting and more surface, in contrast to that which represents something more substantial, more solid and enduring. While it may be relatively easy to find things which make us “feel happy”, much more is required in time and energy to establish more substantial and enduring “happiness”.

A related issue concerns the fact that often that which we turn to to “feel happy” carries a heavy price. We want the quick fixes and preferably those wrapped in pretty packages.

True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise.
Joseph Addison, The Spectator

What we too often find, however, is that the “gold” of the night shows itself to be fool’s gold in the morning, and that the joy of the evening turns into a splitting headache the day after.

The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.
Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind

We are also reminded by the sages that much that brings joy and happiness is easy, simple and free. In fact, many writers point out that we often ignore or miss many of the simple day-to-day joys and gifts which nature and people offer us because we are rushing and preoccupied and have our eyes and our minds focused on the bigger and the better. Nate seemed so focused on perceiving his glass as always half empty that there was hardly any time or energy for exploring the fact that it was also half full.

They remind us too that memories of happy moments can last a life time, and are often even better than the original event, and that happiness is even sweeter when shared or given away, and acknowledged with gratitude.

Human felicity is produced not so much by great pieces of
good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages
that occur every day. Benjamin Franklin

Finally, author, David Leonhardt, “The Happy Guy” points out in his book “Stairway to Heaven” that happiness is created not found. Happiness, he writes, requires choice and effort to create and work to develop habits to sustain it.

So, how do you define happiness? What situations push that “I feel good” button for you? What made you laugh so hard you almost cried? When was your heart just filled to overflowing by some action, some situation, or some person? When did you jump for joy, or what joys make you want to jump again and again? What makes your spirit soar with song? Are you getting your daily dosage of those “little advantages”, or has it been a while since you’ve noticed what is simple and free? Are you allowing yourself to be satisfied by the easily available fool’s gold, or are you working to create something more substantial? Are you allowing those precious memories to nourish you, and have you given away any happiness lately?

Reach for Words of Wisdom

________

Our Own Spirit Song

So, I bid thee
be open to see
the gifts of life which are
simple and free.

Yet, beware of those gifts
which come with such ease,
and sparkle and dazzle and easily please.

True happiness comes with effort,
with work and with spine
which allows us to stand sturdy
as we create the divine,
which is often
without shine.

Yet, a shine beyond measure
often comes and stays long
when we share with another
our own spirit song.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Soul Food

Just,
as you nourish your body,
as you nourish your mind,
so too,
nourish your soul.
Our bodies hunger for food

lest they grow weak and weary.
Our minds hunger for knowledge, insight and understanding
lest they grow dull and stagnant.
So too, do our spirits need nourishment
lest the flame which fuels, guides and warms us,
grow dim.

Much Soul Food is abundant, free, easily available and natural.

Soul Food is:

the bubbling spring with soothing sounds of water flowing
soothing words which bring water to our eyes
water which washes our wounds
the healing light of the sun
the freshness and abundance of lush greens
the boundless beauty of flowers whose colors dazzle and delight
vibrations of music whose tender tones and pounding vibrations shake and sooth us
a baby’s smile and smell which takes us instantaneously to heavenly places
a mother’s soft touch
a fathers strong embrace
a friend’s helpful hand in times of need
a peaceful moment in the middle of a hectic day
fluffy clouds which cushion our imagined fallings
a sister’s lap which catches the real ones
a brother’s joke which jolts us into laughter
a painting which serves a feast for the eyes
the story which is a feast to the ears
the dancing of hands on dainty doilies and the squishing and squeezing of clay into pots
the silence which wraps us gently as if in blankets of down
the light which appears on the darkest of days, unexpectedly and mysteriously
the tapping of toes, walks through the woods, dancing as if on air and leaping with faith.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. (2006)

Add to the list, find your favorites and nibble on them regularly. An occasional feast can do wonders.

A Reach Challenge
______

Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to
clarify how you define true happiness. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at
your definition of happiness show? What can you learn from the choices and actions you
are making and taking to find, create and to share happiness? What challenges face
you?

Reach to Believe:
_______
Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!

Belleruth Naprastek
Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks

Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Buckingham, Marcus. Oprah Magazine, pp. 315, 362, 366-367, Sept., 2007.
Leonhardt, David. Stairway to Heaven. Published by David Leonhardt: 2003. Canada.

Who is in Charge?

2008-02-20T10:03:00.001-08:00

BEYOND THE COMORT ZONE

Rewards await
those willing to
reach

beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within, and
over and over again and again.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Wellness Coach

LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM

___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________

Achieve greater peace and power by awakening and taking real charge of your life.

WHO IS IN CHARGE?
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

There is a woman within me who has a very specific agenda for me. This agenda has to do primarily with work and pending business tasks. She knows what I need to do and exactly when I need to do it better than I do myself, and she is no nonsense. She expects me to stay on task at all times - day and night and weekends too. When I slip up, I have to pay the piper, especially in the morning. She usually side swipes me upon awakening and can put a neck hold on me which compares to that of Hulk Hogan.

She was waiting for me as soon as I opened my eyes this morning. I am not quite sure who she is. I have associated her with my German side, but in the fog of sleep this morning, she kind of, sort of resembled my mother. “You-u-u-u played-d-d-d too-o-o-o much-h-h-h yesterday”, she growled in my ear. “You didn’t take care of business-s-s-s.” Yes, yesterday had been one of those fun days. Actually, I did work well in the morning, but I must admit I did allow a significant amount of time for “just sitting” and “just sitting and laughing”. Anyway, back to this morning. . . With knots in my stomach and rubbery legs, I stumbled to the bathroom.

I turned on the light, looked at the tense face in the mirror, and then the light inside my head went on! “Hey, I’m in charge here”, I said to myself. Yes!! I remembered that many a year ago, I took back control of my mornings and the hectic and heartburn which that woman created. I reminded myself of my need for slower, more comfortable rhythms, and that before all else, and in spite of all else, I first take time to smile, give thanks, and say a prayer!!! With this simple gesture, I put myself back in the driver’s seat and rejoined the courageous souls awakening to their own rhythms and taking charge of their health and happiness.

Just as there have been increasing appeals for people to take greater charge in their day-to-day actions with the environment, there has also come the call for greater personal responsibility in life and health management. This new movement has been referred to as the Wellness Revolution (Pilzer, 2002), and can be seen taking shape in programs like those proposed by Dr. Oz on the Oprah show. It involves the belief that people are not only capable of, but should exercise more responsibility in issues concerning their health and well-being. In other words, it is the belief that a person’s health and happiness is powerfully impacted by his/her willingness to take charge. The heart of “Wellness”, according to Wellness consultant, Greg Anderson (1995), is what he calls “personal accountability”. In his book, “The 22 Laws of Wellness”, he writes: “. . . it is we – yes, you and I - who are responsible, first and foremost, for our own wellness.” (p. 15)

Personal accountability involves increased responsibility as well as increased personal power. Children are in dependent and often helpless positions and can, thereby, rightfully place blame on others. As adults, however, we carry the responsibility for our pain and our pleasure. The burden of our choices - be they active and conscious or passive and muddled - rests on our shoulders. Yet, to take charge of one’s health and happiness also means to take a major step toward greater personal power. A sense of self control and mastery increases when a person sees him/herself not as a victim of people and circumstances, but as an adult making choices and taking actions which influence the quality of his/her life. The person begins to recognize that their plight in life it is not only about what happens to them, but about the choices they make and how they respond to what happens.

A Reach Challenge
_______

Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to take charge of your life. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at your” personal responsibility” for your health and happiness show? What can you learn from the choices and actions you are, or are not, making? What challenges face you?

Who is in charge of your morning - your day, your life? Are you awake and making conscious, responsible decisions, or are you napping on the job?

Is your job the big boss who dictates the direction of your life? Is he/she leading you in a direction that you’re happy with? Or, maybe it’s your emotions which have the upper hand in your life, and which determine whether you take on the challenges of the day or hide under the covers?

Are you aware that you are constantly making choices whether you are aware of it or not? Do you realize that the tendency to just passively go along with the program – somebody’s program – means that you may actually be headed down a road that you don’t really want to be on?

Reach for Words of Wisdom
_______

SMILE, GIVE THANKS AND SAY A PRAYER
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

For so many years, I awoke each day with the rhythms of restlessness tapping on my head. My head was always full of the clutter which I had taken to bed with me, and that which I had accumulated during the night. I began most of my days quite top heavy. Then one crisp, clear morning as if out of the blue, a new seed took root in my mind and eased the beginnings of my days.

Now, through rain or tears, sunshine or celebration, I join the millions around the world who choose to begin their days with the power of prayer rather than the whims of the monkey mind. Before all else, I smile, give thanks and say a prayer. . .

___________________

Friend, wake up! Why do you go on sleeping!
The night is over – do you want to lose the day
the same way!

Other women (and men) who managed to get up early have
already found an elephant or a jewel. . .
So much was lost already while you slept. . .
and that was so unnecessary!

Kabir, 13th century
In “The Woman Awake” (1998) by
Regina Sara Ryan

Reach to Believe:
_______

Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!

Belleruth Naprastek
Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks

Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

OLD DREAMS, NEW HOPES: Far, Far from Home

2008-01-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE

Rewards await
those willing to
reach

beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within, and
over and over again and again.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
and Wellness Coach

LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:

A WELLNESS PROGRAM

Answers to life's puzzles and problems are as certain as the gold buried deep within the earth. Yet, just as golden nuggets seldom fall into our laps, finding solutions to life's perplexing questions and problems requires work - digging, searching, reaching. With the "pain" of effort, however, comes "gain"�. Like the miner who, with practice, learns more and more how to spot and mine for treasures, people too can learn to better tap the treasures within themselves
and in the outside world which hold the answers to their search for greater personal peace
and power.

Achieve greater peace and power by learning when to let go and when to hold on tight.

OLD DREAMS, NEW HOPES:
Far, Far from Home
by Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

It’s that time of year again! It is the time when many of us reflect on the year coming to an end and contemplate changes we would like to see in the new year. Most of us will quickly forget the resolutions with which we so proudly started the new year, but no matter. It is the process which is important – one of those periodic pauses to check and reflect which we have been talking about. One of my favorite resolutions this year involves the decision to introduce you to one of my special friends – Papa Eze. Let me start by telling you about some of his old dreams and new hopes, which especially those of you far from home might identify with.

Papa Eze had started his reflections long before the old year came to an end, and made his resolutions well before the new year showed its face. It was time, he resolved; it was time for a dramatic change.

Papa Eze had not gotten his name back in Africa from being a father. No, it was the father-like qualities which he had demonstrated early on as a child which had led his family to call him “papa” well before he was ready to step into such a weighty role. He had been the one who seemed wise beyond his years, the one who took the lead in work or play, and the one who stood tall and firm in the face of crisis. It had been his coming to the rescue of a brother in crisis that had brought him to the place where he knew deep in his belly that it was time for a change.

Almost four years ago it was now that Papa Eze had let himself be convinced that it was a good idea and a good time for a new adventure. Yet, he had not joined the ranks of the adventurers seeking the thrill of the new and unknown and the excitement of setting new records. Papa Eze belonged to a new group of adventurers; those whose journeys were more often motivated by hunger and which often ended tragically before they had hardly begun. He belonged to the group often referred to as the “third-world poor”; the people willing to take any risk and to take on any menial task which promised a way out of empty days and empty pockets.

Like many others, Papa Eze had left home with high hopes for the land where it was said the streets were paved with gold. There had been no painful leave-taking from mother or father. Both had departed through death many years ago. There had been no children to say “papa don’t go”, and his wife was used to deferring to his wishes even when they seemed foolish to her. But, his heart seemed to tear apart when he said good-bye to his wife and his sisters and brothers. He, however, easily left his material possessions knowing that there would be many more to come.

When he arrived in “the land of milk and honey”, he was surprised to find that the streets were paved with the same dull asphalt as the streets of his home city. There were many more beautiful and imposing buildings, and many more lights. The lights, however, blinded him, and the buildings were so tall that they blocked the light of the sun. It was a joy indeed to be reunited with his junior brother who had been away from home for so long. But, where were the riches? What were these words of hardship beyond description, and daily struggles to survive which were coming from his lips? What were these words from the lips of his junior which implied equal status with him, his senior, and who was this woman at his side who spoke to both of them with what seemed like insufficient deference??

The days and nights were long in this new land – too long for the cold weather and the cold people. They were too long for the struggles to find work and to obtain the official papers which would allow him to freely search for work and with greater hope for success. He realized that he had come to a place where people who looked like him were looked at with suspicion, and where men like him received little respect. The work he did find was exhausting, often dangerous and menial beyond belief. Papa Eze had joined the ranks of those called “illegal immigrants”, and the government of this new county seemed as determined to send him back home as it had been determined to take over his home in years not so long ago.

As the old year neared its end, he found himself lost and lonely in a land far, far from his home. As crowds of people rushed around him with arms full of boxes and bags, he reached deep into his pockets to warm his fingers and hoped to find just a few coins. It was on those cold streets with lights and people brighter than usual in preparation for Christmas celebrations that a decision began to take shape. In the corner of his mind, he too was preparing a celebration – a celebration at home. His walk suddenly took on an old flair as he imagined strolling in old, familiar places where he was showered with rich rays of radiant sunlight wherever his steps took him.

But, how could he return home empty handed? How could he explain his plight to those at home? How could he explain the lack of gold to those who outlined their dire need for assistance in every letter? How could he explain his new status to the people who looked up to him, and who knew him as a strong, proud and reliable man? How could he explain that there was barely enough for him to survive, and that for many, many months now he walked more and ate less in order to save enough money to pay for his journey home.

Yes!! Papa Eze had decided to exchange old dreams for new hopes. Unlike those of his brothers and sisters who continued to hope for miracles and mercy while they kept their heads bowed and hid in the shadows, he had decided to return home. He had decided to let go, and to let come what may. He would stand tall and face the shame of returning home with empty hands for his heart would be full of joy at being in a place where he could lift his head to the sun without impediment. With hope in his heart for a new beginning and faith that as this door closed another would open, he welcomed the beginning of this new year, and gave thanks for dirt roads and buildings of mud and straw.

A Reach Challenge

Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to do some serious reflection as this new year begins. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at your hopes and dreams show? What challenges face you? What old dreams are waiting for new life? Which old dreams do you need to let go of in order to allow space for new ones? What dead horses have you been desperately trying to bring back to life? What old or new hopes are waiting in the shadows for your attention and your faith?

Words Of Wisdom

A New Year Dawns

As the new year dawns,
we bow our heads in
old, familiar places,
and we pray. . .

for new dreams,
for old worries,
for old worries wrapped in new hope,
as the new year dawns.
Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Reach To Believe:

Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!
Belleruth Naprastek

Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks

Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!

MUCH HEALTH AND HAPPINESS TO YOU IN THIS NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Wellness Coach

Copyright © 2008 Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.

PENCILS AND APPLES: A Clash of Cultures

2007-12-14T14:22:00.000-08:00

BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE

Rewards await
those willing to
reach

beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within, and
over and over again and again.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
and Wellness Coach

LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM

Answers to life's puzzles and problems are as certain as the gold buried deep within the earth. Yet, just as golden nuggets seldom fall into our laps, finding solutions to life's perplexing questions and problems requires work - digging, searching, reaching. With the "pain" of effort, however, comes "gain"�. Like the miner who, with practice, learns more and more how to spot and mine for treasures, people too can learn to better tap the treasures within themselves and in the outside world which hold the answers to their search for greater personal peace and power.

Achieve greater peace and power by establishing your own traditions.

PENCILS AND APPLES:
A Clash of Cultures
by Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

I’m excited!! In a few days, my daughter and I will leave our family in Kentucky to travel home to Berlin, Germany for Christmas. Although both of us have spent more time in KY lately, Berlin remains HOME. It is where our family spent all of our Christmases since my daughter’s birth (she’s now in college), and since her older brother was three. It was always a magical time for us, but beneath the magic - where little eyes couldn’t see - were tensions within and between adults which the Christmas season typically offers as “challenge gifts”. Most Christmas movies seem to be based on this tension principle. I call these challenges the “pencil and apple struggles”. Before I explain, let me tell you about a place that knows how to do Christmas well.

We especially love the Christmas season in Berlin because it is a long, extended affair, rooted in centuries of tradition, and very beautiful. The celebrations start on the first of December. Parents purchase or make and hang Advent calendars and each day children – children in years and children at heart - awaken excited to open another window and to receive a treat – a special text, a small toy or most often, chocolate. With each window opened, they see how many more days they need to be patient and polite. The city dawns its holiday attire and drab, gray streets suddenly sparkle with light and Christmas music can be heard everywhere. Christmas markets open up for business in dozens of locations, and crafts of all shapes, sizes, textures and colors dazzle all the senses. Enticing smells of chestnuts and sausages roasting and the sweet aromas of candied fruit and nuts dictate the direction of wanderings of the crowds as eyes dance in awe of beautifully decorated trees and of magic created by human hands.

It is a time for multiple celebrations. Surprising sharing often occurs between strangers at a time when people, in general, seem friendlier, and when the harshness and winter gloom of the big bustling Northern city seems to soften. Families and friends gather on Sundays around beautiful tables with white linen table cloths, fine china, fresh flowers and beautiful Advent wreaths with candles to be lit on each of the four Sundays before Christmas. On the 6th of December, children awaken to find that Nikolaus had filled their shoes with candy and fruit the night before. The major celebration is on the 24th , called the “holy evening”, when in the afternoon, most of the city gathers first in the churches – most people would not have been to church since the previous Christmas. Families then return home for the “Bescherung” – the exchange of gifts, followed by a light dinner.

Our Berlin relatives, like many other German families, kept the wonderful tradition depicted in the Nutcracker of only opening the door to the room with the lit Christmas tree and gifts at a certain time upon the return from church. Imagine the excitement of children as they wait for the bell to ring and the door to open. On December 25th, called the “first Christmas day”, families and friends gather for special Christmas dinners similar to the American Thanksgiving celebrations. Still, the celebration continues; the 26th, called the “second Christmas day” is also an official holiday, but for most a day for rest and relaxation and a shifting of focus back to more mundane affairs.

Our family added our own special touches to this long tradition and a couple of extra celebrations as well. Since we had first lived in Munich when we first moved back to Germany, my son had gotten used to the “Christ Child” who appeared at the door on the 24th bearing a bag filled with gifts. He couldn’t just disappear because we moved from Bavaria to Prussia. And, of course, there was the American Christmas! While I immensely enjoyed the slower pace, the extended and varied celebrations with family and friends, and what seemed to me more of the “real” meaning of Christmas and less of the material focus, the real thing for me was our very material American Christmas celebration! And, this brings us back to “pencils and apples”.

I wanted to make sure that my children stayed connected to their roots which stemmed from my side of the family. I had grown up in the land of “bigger and more is better”, and I wanted my children to experience the thrill of waking up on Christmas morning to a room filled with big and little, bright and shinny gifts from Santa. Each summer, we came back from our American vacation with bags bulging with the first installments of our “American Christmas”.

A twitch in my German husband’s jaw would start during those summer shopping sprees, and continue until well after Christmas. One of my American friends, also married to a German, first told me of the mentality which captured perfectly what I had recognized in my husband, but had yet to label. This was the “pencils and apples” philosophy of how Christmas was supposed to be celebrated; born and bred in times of struggle and scarcity and nurtured by a frugal, non ostentatious people. The idea is to keep it simple, keep it pretty, keep it financially reasonable and keep the “real” meaning of Christmas in the forefront. The roots that my husband wanted to keep our children connected to involved concepts like simplicity, frugality, and sharing and giving which did not involve major financial expenditures which usually, of course, come January and February, are sorely regretted. There was a time when “pencils and apples” were fine gifts. I was not to be moved!! Pencils and apples, ok, but I wanted our children to have the bicycles, the Nintendos, the latest “hot” items, the clothes, etc., etc.

Once you introduce children to the “Nintendo Christmas”, it’s hard to revert to pencils and apples. On my own now, I don’t have to worry about someone else’s stress level rising over my spending. Yet, on my own now, I am glad that somehow magically, my children seem to have stayed more closely connected to their father’s definition of Christmas. I still keep the pressure on myself to keep up the image, but at least I, myself, feel quite satisfied now with pencils and apples. The non-material sharing does me just fine.

P.S. Of course, when you are as old as I am, you can’t see well enough to play Ninendo games anyway.

A Reach Challenge

Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to make the time to develop your Christmas tradition. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at your philosophy and style of celebrating Christmas show? What can you learn about yourself? What challenges face you?

Perhaps the major joy in all of this for me is that over the years and despite the tensions, our family was able to develop our own Christmas tradition. Even though now divorced, and still not completely tension free, my husband and I have managed to continue to piece together our German-American Christmas. This has allowed our children to stay connected to both sides of their bi-cultural roots and, thereby, to continue to extend and expand their Christmas celebrations.

Reach For Words Of Wisdom

SPECIAL GIFTS
by Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Our special gifts are often small,
and oft quiet, and simple
is their call.

Only an ear atuned
will hear their plea
to open our hearts
so our eyes might see

the beauty hidden,
the words barely perceived,
the valuable offerings
only a trusting spirit will receive.

Reach To Believe:

Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!
Belleruth Naprastek

Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks

Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS and MUCH HEALTH AND HAPPINESS in the NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Wellness Coach

Copyright © 2007 Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.

CHECKING IN WITH YOU

2007-11-28T13:51:00.000-08:00

BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE

Rewards await
those willing to
reach

beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within, and
over and over again and again.

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
and Wellness Coach

LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM

Answers to life’s puzzles and problems are as certain as the gold buried deep within the earth. Yet, just as golden nuggets seldom fall into our laps, finding solutions to life’s perplexing questions and problems requires work - digging, searching, reaching. With the “pain” of effort, however, comes “gain”. Like the miner who, with practice, learns more and more how to spot and mine for treasures, people too can learn to better tap the treasures within themselves and in the outside world which hold the answers to their search for greater personal peace and power.

CHECKING IN WITH YOU
by Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Achieve greater peace and power by learning to reach for regular checks of all life systems.

Congratulations! You “kindled the fire within” and established time for you…alone…to focus on you… So, how’s it going?

No? You didn’t get around to that yet. Well, no matter, there is still time to take better care of the most important person in your life. What? You haven’t figured out who this person is? Ok, I’ll give you a hint – just look in the mirror. I’ll also give you some well-seasoned advice. Look in the mirror, smile broadly at that person you see, and promise him/her that you will schedule in time…alone…to focus on you…ON A REGULAR BASIS.

In the meantime, just take a few minutes with me now to check in with you. Close a real or imagined door. Find a comfortable place to sit. Lean back, take a few deep breaths, relax and just leave the talking to me.
“How’s it going?” is a frequent greeting in Kentucky where I come from. It is a question typically answered quickly and superficially; no one really wants to know the real scoop and the person addressed doesn’t really want to reveal it. “Pretty good, what about yourself?” comes a quick response, often in passing for it is about moving on, keeping going, making it through – whatever the task – keeping that nose to the grindstone – taking care of business… And we keep going, we keep taking care of business, and we “shop until we drop”. It is often only when we “drop” that we might consider asking a serious, “How is it really going with me?” By the time we get around to asking the question, the damage is often done – we find ourselves emotionally bankrupt, an important relationship is on the rocks, the children are spinning out of control, etc. Yet, is there not a way to stay in touch with the status of the various areas of our lives, and to identify needed adjustments before they become needed repairs?

Such monitoring is called preventive maintenance. It is recommended for our homes, our appliances, our vehicles, and our bodies. With automobiles, for example, there are the minor and major check-ups. Frequent checks are recommended for the fluids, the belts, and brakes, and the less frequent checks for the major systems to be made only after a certain amount of time or mileage. Why not then minor and major check-ups of our lives? Why not regular reviews of our life systems, whether minor or major, in order to stay aware of our overall functioning.

For quick and easy checks of our general functioning, The psychologist and story-teller, Dr. Pinkola-Estes (1995), recommends simply asking on a regular basis, “What do I need more of?” and “What do I need less of?” For more detailed assessments, Life Coach Cheryl Richardson (1999) uses a “whole life” approach which involves using a pie chart to diagram the time devoted to different life areas, including work, relationships, emotional and physical health, fun and adventure, contributions to others and spiritual well-being. Balance, according to Richardson, is the key. She writes, “Life is made up of many facets, and no one facet is more or less important than another. A meaningful life is one of balance.” The goal is to stay aware of functioning in the various life areas and of possible imbalance between the areas.

Want a quick and easy check of your life systems? Click here to sign up for “Checking All Systems”, a free form which can be used for regular check-ups:

A Reach Challenge

Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to make the time to check in with you. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at your various life systems show? What can you learn about yourself? What challenges face you?

So again, how’s it going? How much balance or imbalance would a review of your life systems show? How happy are you? How satisfied are you with your life? What do you need more of and less of in order to feel better and to live better? Where are you, and where are you headed compared to where you want to be, need to be? Are the people and situations in your life good/right for you? What do your family and friends think about what you are doing, and/or, not doing? Or, as Dr. Phil, America’s TV psychologist, often asks quite simply, yet powerfully: “How is this (or that) working for you?”
Time taken to ask such important questions establishes a more solid basis for understanding ourselves and the challenges which face us; and, according to Breathnach (1995) who writes about work-life balance in her book “Simple Abundance”, opens the door to renewing our lives with passion and purpose.

Reach For Words Of Wisdom

The Challenge, Most Urgent

Whether a minor check-up,
or a major review,
the challenge, most urgent
is to take time for you.

It requires regular scheduling,
sometimes more, sometimes less
to relax, to refuel,
to reflect and assess.

Stop, look and listen!

Stop!
Stop the hectic, stop the chatter.
Walk out the door,
get off the ladder.

Do whatever it takes,
but put others on notice;
it is again time,
and this time
is mine!

Look!
my dear,
with calm and with care
at someone unique,
you can’t wait to meet.

He’s/she’s there inside,
Where he/ she often goes to hide,
with wisdom so true,
just waiting for you.

Listen!
to his/her voice so sweet.
it soothes your senses,
and tickles your feet.
Its wisdom is deep.

But, you seldom hear it
for other voices loom loud,
and you’re often too busy
pleasing the crowd.

Listen,
Listen,
to his/her weak and weary words.
You’ll be glad you took the time,
for he/ she has a powerful message
which finally must be heard.

Listen!

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. (2007)

Reach To Believe:

Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!
Belleruth Naprastek

Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks

Wishing you peace and power, and the courage to reach!!!

Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Wellness Coach

Breathnach, Sarah. Simple Abundance. N.Y.: Warner Books, 1995.
Pinkola-Estes, Clarissa. Women who Run with the Wolves. N.Y.: Ballantine Books, 1995.
Richardson, Cheryl. Take Time for Your Life. N.Y.: Broadway Books, 1999.

Copyright © 2007 Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.

KINDLE THE FIRE WITHIN

2007-11-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE

Rewards await
those willing to
reach

beyond, beneath, below,
deep down, higher and higher,
over and under, out and within, and
over and over again and again.

Lula Morton Drewes
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
and Wellness Coach

LEARNING TO REACH
BEYOND THE COMFORT ZONE:
A WELLNESS PROGRAM

Answers to life’s puzzles and problems are as certain as the gold buried deep within the earth. Yet, just as golden nuggets seldom fall into our laps, finding solutions to life’s perplexing questions and problems requires work - digging, searching, reaching. With the “pain” of effort, however, comes “gain”. Like the miner who, with practice, learns more and more how to spot and mine for treasures, people too can learn to better tap the treasures within themselves and in the outside world which hold the answers to their search for greater personal peace and power.

KINDLE THE FIRE WITHIN
by Lula Morton Drewes, Ph.D.

Achieve greater peace and power by learning to reach deeper within yourself for greater self awareness, self control and self direction.

In times of crises like the California fires, people often rise to their best as they reach out to their fellow humans with compassion and assistance. As I have followed this tragedy, I have also recognized this as an excellent opportunity for some self reflection. In the process, I have realized, yet again, how easy it often is to reach out to others with advice and assistance than it is to look within. The push to look within, however, provided me with some needed reminders.

Taking some time to reflect on my own behavior in response to the fires, I realized how obsessed I generally become with major catastrophic events. It is my work, yes, to help people cope with various crises, but I recognized how personal, too personal, it sometimes becomes. I awake with the event, I eat with it, I take it as a companion during the day and I sleep with it. It is as if I consume full responsibility and constantly analyze political, financial and personal implications. Such times are the only times that I watch TV in the morning. It becomes as spontaneous as brushing my teeth. Being on the east coast, I was beating the California reporters to the job, and the stress was showing. The smoke from the flames was casting a thick shadow over my day. After my daughter switched the channel to cartoons multiple times, I finally realized something that I had been teaching others for years – “an observer of abuse is a victim of abuse”.

With my obsessive viewing of the coverage of the California fires, I was choosing a sort of victimization. I was doing what Roger Mellott calls “swallowing steel marbles”. (Career Track audio tape MCMLXXXV: Stress Management for Professionals); I was making the choice to ingest pain and suffering all day. No wonder I felt heavier and heavier. My “Reach Challenge” was as simple as resisting to reach for the remote control. I needed to establish greater emotional distance, and to look for more proactive reactions to this disaster. A current TV commercial by the Kentucky government reminds us that as we sit passively observing the California fires from the comfort and distance of our homes, many of us remain completely unprepared for the natural disasters which seem to be occurring more frequently.

A Reach Challenge

Reach beyond your comfort zone. Reach beyond what comes easy and automatic to look deeper within. What would a gentle, nonjudgmental look at your thoughts and feelings regarding these catastrophic California fires show? What can you learn about yourself? What challenges face you and your family. For example, what values would guide your response to a sudden evacuation command? Are they the values you live by day-for-day? How prepared are you for a potential natural disaster?

According to Life Coach, Cheryl Richardson (1999), there is within each person a wealth of deep inner wisdom waiting to be tapped. In her book, “The Value of Journaling”, she points to an intimate relationship with oneself as the essential component of a life of purpose and passion. Awareness and understanding of the self provide a more solid basis for life choices and management. As with finding other treasures, the key to discovering ones inner wisdom is to cultivate the practice of reaching beyond what has become automatic and easy. One way to do this would be to work at creating the practice of “sitting silently with self”. According to Richardson, a private journal provides a valuable tool for developing a solid relationship with oneself, and for practicing relying on ones own inner wisdom. The process of writing about ones inner thoughts and feelings increases the ability for self reflection and understanding, and opens the door to guidance by what Richardson refers to as “the voice of the soul”.

Reach For Words Of Wisdom

Our fast-paced, adrenaline-based culture will trap you into
believing that you’ll finally be able to relax once you make
that one last phone call, finish one more task, or respond to
one more e-mail. But before you know it, you’re on overload
and your body can’t seem to slow down. I’ve been fooled by
this myth too, and because of that, I’ve trained myself to Stop, Look, and Listen.

Cheryl Richardson (1999)
Take Time for your Life

Reach To Believe:

Something wonderful is about to happen!!!!!!
Belleruth Naprastek

Audiotape: Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus
Time Warner Audiobooks